Written by our new apprentice Dale Marriott.
Well where do I start with how to be a better person? I think this is a question that I could add more answers to after each new day that I spend with humanutopia. I had the original ‘who am I’ day back in year 8, 12 years ago!
Yes 12 years ago, yet it still feels like yesterday that Graham and Carlo bounced into the hall with their hoods up.
I remember sitting there thinking to myself “what the heck is going on” two random guys from different parts of the country coming in to talk about life. Yet within 30 minutes I was already questioning the authenticity of myself as a person. I slowly started to realise that at that time, I wasn’t the person I truly wanted to be. At a push I was 20% Dale, the other 80% I was someone other people wanted me to be.
How to be a better person
You can’t really put into words how much of a difference it makes taking the first step of actually realising that about yourself. I mean, we all think we are who we are right? or at least know who we are.
By taking that little bit of time to reflect, I realised I wasn’t who I thought I was.
HU helped me realise that although I had a laugh doing some of the things I had done, I didn’t really do them for me. I was so used to making people laugh and being the “funny guy” that I tricked myself into thinking that was the real Dale.
I used to get laughs at the expense of other people, making them the punch line of my jokes. For the first time in my life, HU made me think about my behaviour towards other people. This hasn’t just helped me become a better person, it also benefited the people that I started being nice to. I started sticking up for people who were still getting bullied by others and I didn’t care what the boys thought about it.
I was also supposed to be a clever kid, but I messed about a lot. After seeing Humanutopia I started to get my head down, try a bit harder and not disrupt lessons as much (my teachers back then were probably eternally grateful for the break). How did that help me? I ended up leaving school with mostly A*s and A’s, I dread to think what grades I would have got if I didn’t have that day in year 8!
There were many lessons that I took from that workshop that have gone on to directly affect my how I live my life, most notably when I first had the freedom of and independence of driving. For the first time, I started making choices based on what I wanted to do and not what other people wanted or expected me to do.
I realised the people I was trying to please weren’t really my friends
I finally started looking out for myself more! This has helped me so much throughout my life and prevented me from getting into a lot of unwanted situations.
I really learned to just be myself, be open minded and honest with everyone that I meet. Through a simple change in mind-set that I took from that HU day, I’ve been able to walk into different jobs throughout my life and communicate with all kinds of people in any given situation.
I’ve refused to give in to peer pressure since that day and I stopped trying so hard to fit in
I became my own person, with my own personality and responsibilities, making my own choices, doing things that I want to do. This has had a huge impact on my life and boosted my own self respect but I’ve also gained respect from other people, people who can see I call my own shots and do things my way!
Have empathy towards others
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned along the way is empathy. Having empathy towards other people and listening more. I used to be that person, already thinking of a reply while someone was talking to me, which meant I wasn’t really listening I just wanted to say my bit. Listening to what people have to say was something that HU bought to my attention during that workshop, making me realise it wasn’t all about me, I had to be a better person.
Other peoples opinions really do matter in life and you’re not always right!
I think the person that I am now has been on a journey of small stepping stones, that all started with a humanutopia experience, leading to me becoming a member of the team.
I am eternally grateful for what they did and I cant wait to share the HU experience with the world and help the next Dale.
